Let me begin by saying that – Rejection is a part of life. Period.
Everyone has experienced rejection at one point or another . When dealing with friendships, relationships, work, hobbies, etc. it is inevitable that somewhere along the line, you’ve be disappointed.
Heck, growing up, I was a bit of an awkward kid – very skinny, talked a lot, had a large gap between my two front teeth. I competed in dance and pageants. Currently, I work in the entertainment industry and I’m not exaggerating when I say that throughout my life, I have been rejected thousands of times.
I’ve lost, been turned down, heard “NO”, and been discouraged more times than I can count.
However, the magic lies in how you deal with rejection and use it to your advantage to come out a stronger and happier individual who is better prepared for future opportunities.
Here are some ways that I have learned to deal with rejection.
- Don’t dwell in negative thoughts – It is natural to feel bummed while you’re processing your emotions. However, try not to mentally beat yourself up after a let down. Instead, view rejection as proof that you’re stepping outside of their comfort zone. Halt the self-doubting chatter running through your brain and realize that you did the best that you could. Try to think along the lines of:”Yay! You went for it! You tried something new but it didn’t work out this time!” Then, start thinking about what you can do to increase your odds of success.
- Learn from it – Think of rejection as a perfect chance for improvement and redirection. As mentioned, don’t dwell on the negatives of why you didn’t succeed this time around. Refocus your thoughts on progression. Think about what you can do to increase your chances of success in the future. A simple way to do this is to acknowledge what may have gone awry in the situation, then visualize what you would do differently next time for a better outcome.
- Don’t take rejection personally – Everyone has an opinion and their own reason for doing (or not doing) things. NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. This thought can be humbling. The quicker that you learn this, the happier and more free you will be. During my years of auditioning. I’ve been told that I am too short, too tall, too small, too big, too energetic, too relaxed, too this, too that… I would leave the room questioning what it was that the client wanted at that particular time. I quickly realized that who books the role simply depends on what the client wants… it had nothing to do with my personality or skill. It was completely subjective! Maybe for this role, they prefer curvy blondes? Well, I’m out of luck there. Maybe for another role, they want someone who fits in a particular costume or has a specific accent.Whatever the reason, if you’ve been turned down, you can’t take it personally. Everyone does what works best for them.
Eventually, what will work for YOU is being confident that you’re the best YOU that you can be…
however tall, short, small, big, that or that.
- Practice gratitude – Appreciating what you have and finding the silver lining in life, requires some effort and patience. Begin by making a gratitude list. Each day, write down 5 things for which you are grateful. This will shift your perspective to the “bigger picture”. You will finding beauty in little things, so that the rejection doesn’t seem so threatening. Your attitude and situation will turn around and you’ll be optimistic while working towards a new challenge.